Do I Know You?

One of the great predicaments of a college our size is the “Do I know you?” moments.  See on a campus this small it’s likely that you will know a lot of students from classes, activities, and general life, but on a campus this large sometimes it’s hard to keep track of how you know those people. This leads to those awkward “Do I know you moments when you are walking down a campus path, perhaps on your way to class, and you see an approaching face that seems familiar.  Mental scanning initiated–how do I know this person– you flip through the possibilities as they draw ever closer. If you find the answer then life is good and you select the appropriate greeting, but most of the time you are still desperately trying to place the face as finally you reach the decision point: Do you admit your vague recognition or do you AVOID-AVOID.

Recognition seems the better option. You can give the friendly half smile, the one-swipe wave, the head nod (quite popular with the male demographic), or the simple “hey.”  The other party may reciprocate or they may not, but now the pressure is off of you.  I was once at the movie theatre with a bunch of friends when a total stranger came up and said “HEY, How are you? It’s been a while.” I have no idea who she was, but she was smart because she took the initiative, and I was the one left feeling awkward as she bounded away.  So best plan is assume your intuition is correct and say hello.

AVOID-AVOID, however, is often a more popular option and in selecting avoidance you have quite a few strategies available:

• You can literally change your path so that you are no longer in the direct line of the opposing party. This can be quite time consuming and embarrassing if the opposing party actually calls you on it.
• Another more popular choice is the “look away.” Often this means “seeing” someone you know off in the distance or needing to find something in the bag. The popular version of this one is the technology distraction. I have sent quite a few imaginary texts, although I have never stooped as low as to have imaginary cell conversations, so as to give my eyes a different place to rest.
• You can also just be cold and keep walking with a stony look on your face. This can be softened slightly with the use of sunglasses because then there is no way for someone to track your eye line and perhaps you literally didn’t see them.

This all gets complicated because sometimes there are the people on campus that you feel you really know but perhaps they don’t know you as well. For the top-tier administrators like Pres. Reveley and Ginger Ambler I feel it always appropriate to offer a friendly hello as long as you don’t expect more than a hello back from them. For most of your classes your professor may know your name but in those first weeks or a large lecture class you may say hello to a professor and get nothing back. Just take it in stride. Then there are the campus personalities. Some of these are well-known like SA President or just the people who have a knack for being known. Everybody knows so-and-so but so-and-so doesn’t know you. I say let those go and just smile as you walk by.

There are also the familiar-faces people. These often develop during your freshmen year. For example, a friend of mine has a one way relationship with a figure she calls “Botetourt Boy.” She and B-Boy have never spoken, but she saw him so often freshmen year that she gave him a nick-name and will often report back her sightings. I had a similar experience with an individual living in my freshmen complex whom I called “Crew-Boy” We had a mixer together during freshmen orientation and that was his fun fact. I still see him around quite a bit and smile (but only on the inside).

The point of my ramble is that as a community we see each other a lot. And that’s great. But sometimes it’s a little awkward. The best strategy is to embrace that and when you find yourself wondering “Do I know you” be brave and don’t reach for the cell-phone.

Oh and P.S. To all my friends out there who have ever felt that I pulled one of these techniques on them, I promise I sincerely didn’t see you and someone really was texting me!