Thankful for Uncertainty

My greatest wish for you is that you will never be able to answer the question “Who am I?” Falling asleep last night I started thinking about this question and what it has meant to me over the course of this past year. I greet almost every morning with this question of “Who am I?” Some mornings I get frustrated at the fact that I can’t answer it and struggle the entire afternoon searching for answers in my academic work and social life. Other days I wake up thinking I know the answer, only to discover that the person I thought I was is rather confused and uncertain about who she really is. If we all knew for certain who we really were, what an unsettling world this would be. Content. Happy, but never really full. We would walk through the motions of life satisfied with who we are with no desire to challenge ourselves. What an incredibly boring world this would be. It is in this place of restlessness and confusion that we are able to define the lines of where we are and where we want to be. I find it funny how people legitimately ask themselves this question expecting to find an answer, because the truth of the matter is, none of us really know. We define ourselves through the roles that we play in our families, in our jobs, and in our societies. If we remotely resemble someone that has come before, we shape ourselves to play the part and matriculate into a comfortable position. Based on these roles we have tendency to categorize people and label them with titles that may be no indication of their true character or personality. However, we embrace this place of comfort and security and appreciate the fact that we are there. All anyone wants is to be accepted. Now there may be those of you out there who disagree with me, cheers to that. I hope that you have opinion enough to step back, question my theories and disagree because that is all a part of discovering who you are. The beauty of this question is that we are all on the same journey to diverse destinations. I have come to accept the fact that I will never truly know who I am, but I find condolence in that. Not knowing who I am only makes me more curious to discover the answer. Life is a board game and I am only a pawn searching for the path that will determine my feature. Who I am? Today I am thankful, full of all that is good, embracing change and appreciative for the break. Tomorrow, that might change. But my greatest hope for you is that you will never know so we can walk through this world searching and discovering together.