Burglary in the Burg

Tragedy strikes the Williamsburg community Thursday June 30^th. Respectable citizen and senior interviewer, Amie Bauer, returned home from a hard day’s work to find a distressing scene.  Missing from her potted patio garden was Patio Hybrid, a 4-month-old hybrid tomato plant.

Crime Scene Photo 1

Patio Hybrid, planted and nurtured in an Illinois suburb, was relocated to an off-campus residence for the summer farming season (exact location will remain anonymous to protect the remaining patio plants).  Gardener Bauer had driven 15 hours from the Midwest providing excellent care and attention to assure the plants’ survival. The patio garden has been thriving and budding successfully with the full sun exposure and the daily regiment Bauer was providing.

Patio Hybrid had just reached 15 inches before abduction. Gardener Bauer was too distraught to comment, but sources close to the owner report that the plant was hearty and had plentiful amount of flowers. Close friend and roommate to gardener Bauer, Lora Faris comments: “Our apartment has been really quiet these past few days. Amie has had a hard time vocalizing her grief except for the silent weeping I have heard from her room.

Crime Scene Photo 2

Even sadder was when we ventured to the farmers market; she held the tomatoes in her hand and sobbed violently. I think it was sort of a cathartic relief for her.” Faris quickly wipes tears from her face as she recants the state of her roommate.

Authorities were not involved, as there is little that can be done. So we have gone to the community to spread awareness in an effort to prevent further devastations such as this. Here is a sample of how the community responds:

“As a Williamsburg resident, I am shocked at such a blatant disrespect for people’s personal belongings. I can’t even imagine returning home to find one of my lawn adornments simply gone. Amie’s loss is a tragic one for sure.” –Billy Kopp

Flower placed on crime scene.

“I no longer leave my house after 8PM” –Stephanie Kumah

“After learning about the tragedy Amie experienced I decided to take it upon myself and go door to door as a member of the NWPBC (Neighborhood Watch Program of Braxton Court) in order to alert them of the missing tomato plant travesty.”

Clearly this is a crime that affects the whole community. But there is light in the darkness: the Williamsburg members have come together to show support for the loss. This Friday at five the city will all eat a tomato in silence in commemoration of Patio Hybrid. *

*This article may be a gross exaggeration of actual events and quotes may or may not be fictional.