A Difficult Time of It

Professors talk for a living.  In the classroom we talk (and sometimes talk and talk) on subjects we’re passionate about, but the College’s annual Raft Debate turns professorial chatter into a brawl of fact and innuendo.  The premise is simple, three faculty members, a humanist, a social scientist, and a scientist, are shipwrecked on a desert island (in the company of a devil’s advocate and a judge).  There is a raft, but it can only carry one passenger to safety and the castaways must convince the audience that they (and their respective discipline) are worth saving.

Style commonly trumps substance and a raucous evening ensues.  For mild mannered faculty-types the Raft Debate is a world away from what we do at our day jobs.  In the classroom there is a give and take, there are different points of view, but in the classroom there is also civility.  Civility never reached this isle of misplaced academics.

In 2003 I agreed to represent the natural and computational sciences at the Raft Debate.  The appointed hour arrived and I stepped on stage with my adversaries.  My first statement was tentatively delivered; immediately my colleagues tore into my thesis on why a natural scientist should be saved.  I was sinking in deep water. I was having a difficult time of it.  Would I disgrace my discipline?  My gambits seemed to have no effect.  Backed onto the rocky edge of that distant island and fighting for my academic existence I did the only thing left to do.

I slandered the other disciplines. I made bold and ridiculous statements (in spite of my proclamations- scotch, as tasty as it is, is not really the product of science; humans made serviceable booze long before they understood how it worked).  Little by little my circumstance improved.  Truth be told, the natural sciences likely ended up safely on the raft because I cajoled students from my introductory geology class to fill the seats.  Power to the people.

Discord and malice made a showing at this year’s Raft Debate, but the devil’s advocate (Laura Heymann, professor of law) brought style and logic to the party.  Adroitly taking apart the case made by all disciplines, the devil’s advocate carried the day.  One of my research students noted that Heymann’s performance was so brilliant that he is giving thought to pursuing a career in law.  Everybody needs an advocate, kudos to the devil.