Shaking My Head

Here at prestigious William and Mary I have experienced many laughs.  I have experienced everything from the soft chuckle to the rolling on the floor, tears coming out of the eyes, can’t breathe I’m losing consciousness laughs. Often times these laughing matters teach me lessons that I wouldn’t have learned unless I experienced them firsthand and when they are all over, all I can do is shake my head. Here are some W&M scenarios so that you can get a glimpse from my point of view:

1.      A pretty girl in high heeled shoes is walking toward my friend and me near the Crim Dell.  I snidely say “She thinks she is so cute. Her outfit doesn’t even match. People don’t walk around in heels on campus, doesn’t she know about raised”—DOOOOPPPEEE BOOOOMM CRASSSHHH crsssssssssssshhhhhhhhhh- thud. Friend laughs hysterically, girl in high heeled shoes smirks as she walks by. SMH

a.       Lesson 1: You don’t need to wear high heels to trip over a raised brick

b.      Lesson 2: Take heed because God doesn’t like ugly

2.      A young man exits the tray return from the Sadler Center cafeteria. He is in deep conversation with his comrade about witches, wizards, and knights.  So delved into conversation he runs smack dab into the automatic sliding doors, but the doors were already open as wide as possible.  The impact from which he slammed into the door made it come off the sliding track. He scurries out the door leaving the broken door behind and mad at the door HE abused because clearly the door was in the wrong. SMH

a.       Lesson 1: Watch where you are going you don’t want to suffer from broken limbs

b.      Lesson 2: Ghoul and goblin conversation is not that important trust me

3.       A girl constantly falls asleep in the front row of her philosophy class.  Her friend wakes her and tells the girl that the professor making fun of her for at least ten minutes of class while she was knocked out.  The next class the
professor asks “Did you get any rest Sleeping Beauty? Ha ha ha”. Girl looks around without moving her head and pretends to be reading her 1000 page philosophy book.  SMH

a.       Lesson 1: If you plan to fall asleep in class, go to the back row
b.      Lesson 2: Falling asleep in class is an epic fail

4.      A girl’s Wednesday ritual involves her hour nap between classes on the third floor of Swem Library.  The previous night she pulled an all-nighter writing a paper and studying for an exam.  The excess exhaustion she experienced caused her to snore.  A professor in the conference room wakes the girl and tells her that her snoring is disrupting the study environment and the procession of her meeting.  The girl leaves Swem embarrassed and hurries to class. SMH

a.       Lesson 1: if you snore, don’t go to the third floor, it’s the quietest floor in Swem and people will call you out

b.      Lesson 2: Stick to the first floor for naps, you are allowed to make noise

5.      In math class, our professor was explaining this theoretically impossible proof to the class. One half of the class shook their head in agreement because they genuinely understood the information; the other half of the class had the dumb face on (similar to the face Patrick from SpongeBob has on all the time) because they thought the professor was speaking another language.  There is this guy who has a repertoire of jokes in his head which should be deleted because his jokes never quite go over.  So guy tells a joke== the class contemplates its nerdy and unfunny nature==the professor has the serious face on when he says something like “Um lets grow up real quick and get back to this problem”==class laughs.  SMH

a.       Lesson 1: If no one still laughs at your jokes and we have three weeks left of classes, you should stop telling them, they don’t benefit anyone

b.      Lesson 2: When a MATH professor clowns you and your jokes, you should give up success in the comic business