Clubbing

I don’t know how the readers of the William and Mary blog feel about going clubbing, but it has always been a novel idea. Now let me set the scene: I grew up in the small town of Ashland, VA, the largest exit between Richmond and Fredericksburg and that is the largest thing about it. My nightlife experiences have been limited to a few bars and delis (bars in Williamsburg are called delis) in Williamsburg and Richmond, as well as several fraternity socials and formals. I’m not exactly what you would call an “Usher” or a “John Mayer” who have been known for their extravagant night lives. I may be more along the lines of a mixture between a less sleazy Jimmy Fallon and a less hipsterish Michael Cera (along the lines of Juno). I wasn’t exactly tailored for this kind of scene.

The admissions interns have been planning a trip to The Cave which is a large club in the Virginia Beach area that is sure to expand the horizons in my social life (those who know the club’s reputation know that people of my limited clubbing experience are not in the majority at this establishment). The vast majority of people are Virginia Beach natives or younger people visiting the area on vacation. They have most likely already navigated the cloudy waters that are a night club… If I’m going to make it through this trip, I have to undergo multiple transformations. Here’s a list suggested to me by some of my colleagues:

1. Hair gel (maybe with frosted tips)
2. Spray tan
3. Excessive jewelry
4. Fluency in reality tv shows
5. Research on VA Beach locals (picking up slang and local lingo)
6. Mace was suggested
7. Tank tops could be useful, if not, make sure the shirt is excessively bright and extenuates your muscles (not a problem for me)
8. Sunglasses indoors
9. A Tattoo (sorry mom and dad, but this is necessary…)
10. Practice my strut… it must exude self-confidence

My interpretation of what I need to be to go clubbing is probably skewed by the show “The Jersey Shore,” so do not be offended if you don’t fit this description and enjoy the club scene, I am simply not familiar. We will be making the trip later this week and I will be sure to update you all on the adventures that will surely ensue.