This week I want to talk about one of the most difficult parts about the transfer experience: what/how do you tell your friends? Making the decision to transfer schools is already hard enough, but now you have to think about how to tell your friends and what exactly to tell them. You have a few options here: tell everyone, tell a few, or tell no one.
I had a very hard time trying to decide who to tell and what to tell them. I wanted to keep it as under the radar as possible because I didn’t want to make anything a big deal before I even got accepted anywhere, so I decided to tell two of my closest friends and my favorite professor (he wrote my recommendation letter so it was pretty necessary to get him involved). I was super lucky to have had friends that were willing to sit down with me and have serious, unbiased conversations about my options. It’s really hard to do this on your own. If at all possible, I recommend finding a friend who is willing to sit down and make those pro-con lists with you and not try to skew it in the favor of your current institution. Having an outsider’s perspective was so incredibly helpful in developing a real breakdown of my options.
How did I bring it up, you might ask? I made the decision to confront the conversation head on. I laid out my reasons for looking elsewhere (research opportunities, program offerings, activities, etc.) and told them that nothing was set in stone. I told them that everything was theoretical until I received any actual acceptances and that I honestly just needed a friend to help me through a hard time. Looking back, I feel like they respected my openness and appreciated that I had come to them before making any decisions. While it was scary to confront the issue head on, I can honestly say it was the most beneficial and conflict-minimizing way to broach the subject.
Now, in my second year at my second school, I can happily report that I did not lose a single friend due to transferring. Sure, it takes some more work to stay in contact and maintain the great relationships I made in my freshman year, but now I get to have those great relationships at two schools instead of one! They say hindsight is 20/20 so I get it if you don’t believe me yet, but I’ve never been happier with the events that have transpired since that first thought of transferring.
I’ll leave you with this final thought: do your research, find an unbiased outlet, and take that leap…you just might be writing these blogs one day soon.
Until next time,
Joey Cronin ’20