Ode to Communication

It kind of irks me when my friends, or random people, gasp and cower when they hear I don’t have a Facebook.  Actually, I do, but I deactivated it at the beginning of the spring semester.  Regardless, there is no need to stop breathing, clutch your chest, and make a ridiculous face expression when I say, “No, you can not send me the link to the hilarious spoof on Youtube via Facebook message,” or, “No, you cannot invite me to this party via Facebook-just text me the when and where.”  I was too young to remember when cell phones became the ‘it’ device, but it seems like Facebook has become the ‘must have’ application-necessary for the homo sapien day-to-day operation.  Wrong.

Since cutting the cord on that soul-sucking site, I haven’t had (though some might find it hard to believe) any withdrawals.  I actually feel less anxious because before discarding Facebook I was constantly worried about having to check my messages, or comments, and I had to remain completely plenipotentiary about my friends.  But now I find it embarrassing. Facebook transforms people into intrusive stalkers, or perhaps vain trainers (a phrase a close friend of mine conjured).  And I cannot begin to explain how much easier it is to check mail now that there aren’t any cumbersome Facebook alerts.   Oh, and now
I actually get homework done.

My detachment from Facebook has yet to improve the amount of text messages I receive.  I had hopes for a positive slope.  Word of the Day still loves me, however.  Though at times it’s disheartening to hear my ring tone, and assume it’s a loving friend only to find another addition to my vocabulary.  Fail.

And since we’re on the subject of phones, have you heard Lady Gaga’s ‘Telephone’ featuring Beyoncé? Pure genius.  I have yet to hear a song that can openly connect to everyone, because we all get those phone calls, or text messages, that are the bane of our cell phone ownership.  For example, I was sitting in church today and I saw my friend Melanie was wearing a Cinderella watch.  “How appropriate,” my other friend Mea said, as she looked over at the watch, “Yano, considering Cinderella had a time crisis and all.”  (Funny.)  ‘Telephone’ transcends beyond this world, somehow trickling into the world of Disney folklore.  Because as we all know Cinderella just didn’t want to talk anymore-she had her head and heart on that Prince’s dance floor.

Nevertheless, if you need, wish, or are forced to contact me, then pick up the phone like a real human being should, and start telephoning me-eh-eh-eh.  Unless I’m studying.